Welcome to Unkl Molkna's Race to the Grave Recipe page.
My treats require minimal effort to prepare, taste absolutely amazing and will drop your heart rate to a virtual flatline!! Your tastebuds will do pirouettes over your cadaver.
Please consult your physician before attempting any of these recipes.. for the love of GOD!!
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Previously featured culinary delights
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Recipes from Fellow Slackers
Desserts
"Old Fashioned" Bananna Pudding
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Follow directions on box for Macaroni and cheese, when finished pour can of chile over it and heat again, stirring once in a while during commercials. Viola! "Chile Mac" a dorm room favorite... (serve with toast triangles)
"Impress the Chicks" Fondue...
Ever heard "There's nothing in the house?" This recipe can be done with the very basics any slacker (or his girlfriend) may have in the kitchen, and they will be talking about it for years to come.....
Melt a quarter to a half a log of Velveeta in the microwave in a nice bowl, being careful not to overcook, just melt. This may mean you have to check it once or twice, sorry... Then add a teaspoon or two of mustard.. Open a beer, pour some in the melted cheese, the rest is yours. Put back in the microwave to melt more, stirring occasionally so the mustard, cheese, and beer are mixed well. (add beer if it's too thick, add Velveeta if it's too thin) Next, chop up an apple into cubes (c'mon, didn't you learn anything playing with those hunting knives when you were thirteen?) then chop up whatever bread you have into cubes as well. Go to the closet or bottom drawer of your kitchen where all those utensils your Mother sent you when you moved are stored (hidden). Find the Fondue forks in there (it's inevitable, she never used them either... ) if not just use toothpicks (no toothpicks? Fine, forks then.. c'mon you slacker, extrapolate!). Serve the melted cheese in your nice bowl surrounded by the bread and apple chunks.. perhaps all on a serving tray, or even a wood cutting board would be nice.. Watch your girlfriend and her sister faint to the floor at what you've created out of nothing. Can be served with beer; if you've got wine around (from back when you were still dating), serve that instead - maybe then they'll be so impressed you'll get lucky with the both of them. Doesn't matter either way though, because they'll be so bowled over that they won't notice you channel surfing the rest of the night...
Spagetti-Os
My favorite recipie by far is to get a can opener, a can of spaghetti o's, and a spoon. open up the can with the opener, toss away the lid, and dig in. then toss away the spoon and the can when you are done. very easy.
Bob Baggins
1 package taco season mix 1 package cream cheese 1 can cream of chicken soup 1 can of chicken hot peppers
Add 1 can of chicken and hot peppers to taste in large microwave safe dish. Add all ingrediants . Heat on high approx. 10 minutes remove from microwave and stir contents together forming thick (wallpaper consistancy paste) . Serve hot with side of tortilla chips and hot peppers . or use the whole bowl for your self and dip tortila chips and enjoy (warning open windows in house LOL)
2 pieces of bread 1 slice of cheese butter toasterPut slice of cheese between the two slices of bread. Butter the outsides. Smash it flat with your hands. Put whole thing in one slot of toaster.
Robert "Kurt" Hutchinson
Spread nachos (tortilla chips) across a foil covered cookie sheet (the thin one you idiot). Make it about a one nacho thick layer, two at most. Now spread cheese evenly over chips. Place in oven and let heat to approximately 350 degrees faranheit take out, and pour salsa on top evenly. Now, ingest nachos, and enjoy Heineken. For additional toppings, try olives, sour creme, diced tomatoes, go nuts.
Eat in good health boys. Or at least know the number for 911, oh wait.
Jason
Old Fashion "Banana Pudding" (A recipe grandma would be jealous of..)
Preperation: Follow directions on box of INSTANT pudding and add bananas and wafers. Let chill for about 15 minutes. Vwa-La!!!! Eat well.
Dave
13x9 baking dish 2 cans sliced peaches 1 box yellow cake mix 1 stick of butter
Pour the peaches in the bottom of the dish, then covor them with the cake mix. don't stir it up, just kinda spread it out. cut the stick of butter into squares and covor as much of the top as you can. remember it will melt. put it in the oven (350) for about 45 minutes, and there you go.
"This isn't work.....it's hell with flourescent lighting."
this is how you make a (bowl of sh*t)
first you take 5 or 6 pieces of steak-ums tear them into little pieces.boil some rice or macoroni noodle's Either one it really doesn't matter. Halfway into the rice boiling you fry the torn upped meat when the rice is done put the rice in the frying pan the open up a can of beans (kidney or Black beans preffered)and throw that in there then get some cheese tear that up mix it in while the stove is on med. heat then add hot sauce stir it up and wolf! You got yourself a nice healthy, steaming, Bowl Of Sh*t.
sum mayo put butter in frying pan, fry 2 eggs sunny side up(I like my yolks runny), put mayo on bread, put eggs on bread and enjoy! (from Omega-101)
Pork an Beans
can of beans
2 hot dogs
barbecue sauce
first empty the beans into a can cut up the hot dogs
into 1/4 inch pieces and throw them in. Stir in bbq
sauce heat up and eat.
Cheesy Quesadia
flower tortilla
grated cheese
hot sauce (optional)
Put the grated cheese and the hot sauce on a tortilla,
fold it, stick it in the toaster for a lil bit (sorry
but you should probably check on it to make sure the
cheese doesn't start a fire), take it out, cut it into
fifths and enjoy.
Peanut Butter and Jelly
peanut butter
jelly
white bread
spread the peanut butter and the jelly on to seperate
pieces of bread put them together and enjoy!
-Nathan Landry (also submitted the Cheesy Quesadia and Pork an Beans Recipes)
Velveeta cheese
Chopped Meat
Pasta Shells
Cook the pasta and brown the chop meat at the same time(adding any spices to the
meat, I personally user Garlic and Onion Salt and a little pepper). When the
pasta and meat is done drain the water, add the velveeta cheese and meat and
stir. Stir until cheese is even on all pieces of pasta. Viola done! A really
tasta and filling meal in less than 15 minutes!
Breakfast 'O' Champions
Please e-mail us your favorite slack-off recipes!!!!!!!!
Previously featured culinary delights
HERE ARE SOME BOOKS YOU MIGHT CONSIDER.
 How to Read a French Fry
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 How to Cook Everything: Simple Recipes for Great Food
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 Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal
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