Man Loses Job Over Risk Game

A particularly intense game of “Risk”, the Parker Brothers stragegy game of global domination, turned out to be the end of yet another job for Hartford, CT resident Larry Jersowicz yesterday.  Mr. Jersowitz, who was supposed to report for work at Uncle Ralphie’s Chicken Hut at 4:00 PM, was allegedly playing the epic game until 7:00 PM, when his troops finally invaded North America.

“What can I say, it was a hell of a game,” said Jersowicz, smoking a well-deserved cigar after defeating the armies controlled by his girlfriend, Beth Adler, and his neighbor, Jack Lipton.  “So I lost my job - the Chicken Hut sucked anyway.  There are some things in life that are just more important.”  While Jersowicz’s prowess on the battlefield has made him the envy of his Risk-playing friends, his previous supervisors have not been as pleased.

“That’s the third time he’s skipped out on work to play some goddamn game.” said Ralph “Uncle Ralphie” Stankburg, Jersowicz’s former employer.  “First it was Monopoly, then Connect Four, now this.  That kids got to get his priorities in order.” Jersowicz has also been fired from two other jobs due to heated games of “Clue” and “Scattergories”.

According to friends, Jersowicz seems less concerned with finding new employment as he is about winning his next game of Risk.  “If only there was a way he could get paid for playing that game,” said Lipton, “because he really kicks ass at it.  We told him he should put his skills to some use and join the army, but I hear they’re a little stricter than the Chicken Hut.”